Monday, September 27, 2010

Reactions

When I gave notice to my manager about leaving my job, she said they were really going to miss me and asked if I would consider just taking a leave of absence or working part-time. They were willing to consider any schedule proposal if I was willing to stay. It was very flattering and tempting to take them up on the generous offer.

When we told the boys I was quitting, there was screaming, wailing, gnashing of teeth and cries that this move will destroy our family. According to them, an announcement that we were having another baby would be more welcome than me leaving my job (and that is saying something considering the reaction when I was pregnant with Pax). I felt so loved, needed and wanted.

I am choosing to look at this as further proof that we are doing the right thing :).

Sunday, September 26, 2010

New Directions

I quit my job this week.

I still can't believe I did it but as of October 22nd, I will officially be a stay at home mom. Or, I might become a go crazy at home mom--not sure which one will happen (most likely a combination of the two). This is not a direction I ever thought I would take in life. I have felt the guilt of being a working mother many times and have often contemplated giving up my paycheck, but one look at the finances, and I would decide the status quo would do. Life has been okay. First of all, I have a pretty good job. I am able to work full-time from home and be here when the boys get home from school, take Parker to and from pre-K and Pax only goes to daycare 3 days a week. Many moms would love a job that allowed them to work from home and I know how lucky I have been. It was working okay--not perfect--but we are doing okay. Second, my boys are getting older. Why quit now when it only gets easier every day? It would have made more sense 2 years ago when I had a baby, 2-year-old and 4-year-old. Third, I have actually had some free time on occasion. I have been able to read more books in the last six months than I have read in the last six years. Finally, financially we are in better shape than we have been since we were married. We have a lot of security and I am all about security!

BUT, and this is a big but, neither Nelson or I could deny that the spirit was saying it was time to leave my job. This was not just Lisa feeling guilty or the Knights reacting to a crisis (our usual life strategy). It was a clear and constant message that, for whatever purpose, I need to be focused on our family full-time right now. We took a look at our finances and it was clear that me quitting would not work. So, we did the rational thing and I quit anyway. It was a huge leap of faith and I generally like to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

It doesn't make sense but here we go! Succeed or fail, we are doing this and not looking back!